Q. We've been invited to a graduation party for a neighbor's son whom we hardly know. We don't really want to go. Can we just send a gift and if so, what should it be?

A. First of all, be truthful and direct. Simply say you are sorry you cannot attend. You don't really need to explain why and are probably better off if you don't. This is a case where more details could lead to an outright lie, and that can lead to getting caught lying! You can also write a note of regret and avoid any conversation at all.

As for a present, money is the safe and easy route. Anywhere between $20 and $100 will do depending on your income, with $50 being a generous average. Tuck it in a card and don't worry about the rest.